I want to stick my p in your. b.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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