3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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