He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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