ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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