i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
