She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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