If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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