I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
