I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
