Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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