Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads