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She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
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