Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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