HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME