Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.

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  (860): Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here. http://tfl.nu/m999
  Replies (10) Good night (3124) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pass out mid-funnel last night.

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  (603): Pass out mid-funnel last night. http://tfl.nu/a6ug
  Replies (4) Good night (2397) Bad night (1830)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

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  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (9909) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.

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  (509): Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/26kw
  Replies (14) Good night (1523) Bad night (5733)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.

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  (716): It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it. http://tfl.nu/308e
  Replies (5) Good night (3696) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.

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  (915): When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free. http://tfl.nu/k11q
  Replies (6) Good night (2585) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita

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  (570): I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita http://tfl.nu/65sn
  Replies (4) Good night (1707) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

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  (217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5
  Replies (6) Good night (2163) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon

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  (608): I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon http://tfl.nu/v008
  Replies (10) Good night (1281) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.

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  (865): Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america. http://tfl.nu/zhnq
  Replies (6) Good night (1765) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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  (814): bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles. http://tfl.nu/uozt
  Replies (11) Good night (2756) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.

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  (909): I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit. http://tfl.nu/gsje
  Replies (5) Good night (600) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome

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  (269): Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome http://tfl.nu/saqv
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.

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  (202): I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control. http://tfl.nu/1mo8
  Replies (0) Good night (944) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.

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  (702): I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now. http://tfl.nu/mwa6
  Replies (4) Good night (503) Bad night (159)

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