Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n

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  (540): david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n http://tfl.nu/9r0h
  Replies (15) Good night (3162) Bad night (786)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

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  (321): I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment. http://tfl.nu/8o3c
  Replies (18) Good night (3216) Bad night (619)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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  (573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp
  Replies (10) Good night (6073) Bad night (638)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  have you facebook stalked him yet?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  No, I don’t know his last name...

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just google his license plate numb

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  (803): have you facebook stalked him yet? (1-803): No, I don’t know his last name... (803): Just google his license plate numb http://tfl.nu/nn7i
  Replies (20) Good night (1136) Bad night (3876)
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  (805): View more from California

  It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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  (805): It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!" http://tfl.nu/5h66
  Replies (38) Good night (7314) Bad night (827)
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  (268): View more from Antigua/Barbuda-Carib

  she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.

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  (268): she thought don quixote was a type of tequila. http://tfl.nu/q3q2
  Replies (44) Good night (3738) Bad night (2418)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

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  (609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5
  Replies (9) Good night (904) Bad night (3014)
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  (619): View more from California

  on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.

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  (619): on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed. http://tfl.nu/fpfi
  Replies (6) Good night (3124) Bad night (1171)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...

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  (480): you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future... http://tfl.nu/18be
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (1191)
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  (518): View more from New York

  we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

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  (518): we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well http://tfl.nu/pd1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1358) Bad night (530)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good

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  (701): it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good http://tfl.nu/dzm0
  Replies (7) Good night (1328) Bad night (772)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her

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  (312): This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her http://tfl.nu/f7pk
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (574)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.

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  (515): I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me. http://tfl.nu/axuf
  Replies (10) Good night (394) Bad night (1341)
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  (415): View more from California

  After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.

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  (415): After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling. http://tfl.nu/ibjl
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (262)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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  (770): I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/srdm
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (257)

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