I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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