i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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