woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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