love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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