She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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