I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
