I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
