I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
