I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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