Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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