If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
