Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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