Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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