he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
