The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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