toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
