my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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