I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
