so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
