girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
