we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
