Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
