I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
