how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
