I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
