Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
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Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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