Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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