FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
