Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
