it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
