mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?