Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.

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  (323): how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs. http://tfl.nu/c8lq
  Replies (9) Good night (2123) Bad night (811)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.

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  (410): it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job. http://tfl.nu/iasx
  Replies (12) Good night (481) Bad night (3051)
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  (818): View more from California

  WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK

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  (818): WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK http://tfl.nu/o65z
  Replies (11) Good night (540) Bad night (3543)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

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  (706): lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand. http://tfl.nu/av0q
  Replies (58) Good night (6326) Bad night (831)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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  (757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2
  Replies (23) Good night (1095) Bad night (5612)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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  (419): I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat? http://tfl.nu/2nrh
  Replies (30) Good night (1147) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.

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  (770): He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology. http://tfl.nu/vyx3
  Replies (9) Good night (3319) Bad night (828)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.

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  (443): Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar. http://tfl.nu/j1fg
  Replies (12) Good night (4827) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.

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  (352): But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus. http://tfl.nu/k1xi
  Replies (3) Good night (1052) Bad night (428)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.

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  (847): When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off. http://tfl.nu/w3pn
  Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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  (501): Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again. http://tfl.nu/b8kl
  Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.

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  (480): We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us. http://tfl.nu/1i5v
  Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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  (225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0
  Replies (3) Good night (323) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?

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  (734): The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low? http://tfl.nu/9f5e
  Replies (4) Good night (542) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  ...it didn't...

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  (303): apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him... (303): ...it didn't... http://tfl.nu/54y0
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (202)

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