Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

Replies (37) Good night (604) Bad night (3452)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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(810): Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it. http://tfl.nu/lg31

Replies (8) Good night (492) Bad night (1427) Order T-Shirt
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(320): View more from Minnesota

so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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(320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl

Replies (38) Good night (1717) Bad night (5204) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.

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(918): i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/hs1z

Replies (32) Good night (7288) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Ontario

Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.

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(905): Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home. http://tfl.nu/by9e

Replies (18) Good night (5048) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.

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(518): its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant. http://tfl.nu/kaeb

Replies (28) Good night (1066) Bad night (5933) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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(503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao

Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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(204): View more from Manitoba

We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.

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(204): We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party. http://tfl.nu/tsig

Replies (3) Good night (2372) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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(813): View more from Florida

I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?

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(813): I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2? http://tfl.nu/8h9n

Replies (16) Good night (1660) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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(517): There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are http://tfl.nu/38ue

Replies (18) Good night (1005) Bad night (2825) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.

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(718): Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made. http://tfl.nu/tzd1

Replies (15) Good night (2336) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.

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(334): Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize. http://tfl.nu/dbij

Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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(330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga

Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time

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(803): Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time http://tfl.nu/n1yf

Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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(209): View more from California

I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

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(209): I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore http://tfl.nu/6h5d

Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

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