Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.

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  (202): if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision. http://tfl.nu/8vkq
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (782)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.

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  (212): Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it. http://tfl.nu/q1v1
  Replies (67) Good night (3298) Bad night (599)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

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  (815 ): His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. http://tfl.nu/efr0
  Replies (30) Good night (5761) Bad night (605)
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  (752): View more from California

  i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt

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  (752): i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt http://tfl.nu/4czo
  Replies (50) Good night (6030) Bad night (923)
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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
  Replies (155) Good night (8022) Bad night (2496)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?

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  (307): How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots? http://tfl.nu/gvsx
  Replies (13) Good night (3621) Bad night (905)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.

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  (217): Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with. http://tfl.nu/6u23
  Replies (6) Good night (2722) Bad night (784)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.

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  (606): I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises. http://tfl.nu/i8r1
  Replies (7) Good night (1806) Bad night (1611)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation

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  (360): have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation http://tfl.nu/7a7f
  Replies (4) Good night (1567) Bad night (862)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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  (518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n
  Replies (31) Good night (3557) Bad night (1343)
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  (559): View more from California

  She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude

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  (559): She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude http://tfl.nu/6q44
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (1834)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.

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  (701): Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect. http://tfl.nu/4n2p
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (857)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.

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  (774): I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work. http://tfl.nu/gs7f
  Replies (3) Good night (351) Bad night (851)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

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  (774): You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!" http://tfl.nu/sqoz
  Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (459)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.

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  (863): I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable. http://tfl.nu/j0cs
  Replies (0) Good night (186) Bad night (247)

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