before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.