worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it