Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.