i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
