apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
