shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize