At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
