I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
