So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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