I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
