I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
