After last night, I could never be a politician.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
