butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
