Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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