Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
