I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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