Your mouth is God's brothel.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
