Please, let me fuck your mom
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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