Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
