i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just found puke in my bra..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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